Trail Trash for EWH3# 791: The Countdown to the Shutdown (Our Country is Run by Buffoons)Trail!
When: 6:45 PM Thursday September 26th, 2013.
Where: L’Enfant Metro
Hares: Assawoman Bay, Sorest Rump, Tuck Tuck Deuce, Facial Profiling, Daddy’s Gonna Be Awhile, Dickileaks, Just Mike
On On On: Gordon Biersch
This trail started on a warm evening with the possibility of a shutdown looming in the near future the pack circled up at the corner of C and 7th. Our brew crewers for the night Cum Dumpling and Mr. hEd managed to find a spot for Plan-B brew just off the park. Our stand in GM Red Vadge of Courage started off by introducing the billion virgins to the pack, just Tamara, Angela, Kelsey, Zach, Whitney, Daniel, Alex, Jared, Quinn, Micah, Lester, Denis, Aaron, Jamie, Susan, Amanda, Jason, Dennyna, Alex, and Eva Our DFL GM for the evening Don’t ask Don’t Smell showed up just in time to introduce our visitors, Horny Rubble and Golden Boobies. The hare representatives Diki Leaks explained how the hares used some tricks they learned from some US congressmen on how to plan a trail, predictions were the trail wouldn’t be laid very effectively. After a song about a man with a job where all he does is push buttons in a factory(at least he has a job, that whiny bitch) the pack was off.
The hares ran the pack through various parts L’Enfant and the Navy Yard area. The pack managed to stay fairly well together for a few shot checks and the first beverage check under one of our favorite overpasses. After a quick beverage the pack was off again, with a shot check again just outside the beer check. The pack scattered and stretched out a bit but managed to find Plan-B again in one of our favorite back alley of ours.
The RA for the night Cock-a-Doodle-Do-Me circled up the PACK. She started off by violating the hares Assawoman Bay, Sorest Rump, Tuck Tuck Deuce, Facial Profiling, Daddy’s Gonna Be Awhile, Dickileaks, and Just Mike for their shitty trail. She then reintroduced the virgins and the visitors. Then It was time for Violations!!!
–RG3some was violated for un-sportsman like behavior on trail, she ran through a shot check tearing a shot out Just Kates hand like it was a water check at the Marine Corp Marathon.
–Just Lester and Just Chad made the mistake of not informing there Virgins Just Alex and Just Daniel about how the hash feels about new shoes.
–Dr TooLittle was violated in lieu of here significant other Saint Paulies Girl who was being was being a cock tease earlier in the week.
–TumbleCry had a safety Violation, he patiently waited for a car to stop to cross the road and was nearly hit by a bicycle shortly after.
–S&MOM was violated for practicing medicine with out a license. He was seen on trail swinging a coat hanger on trail yelling “Get your Obama care here”
–Tosh.Homo was heard at beer check saying “I don’t know where these nuts came from but they are going in my mouth”
–Just Keireah Was violated for not watching where she was going and running in running into a fence at full speed.
– Cock-a-Doodle-Do-Me was thanked for bringing her new bigger boobs and a future hasher to trail(good luck mama)
–Crammer v. Crammer was violated for trying to get sympathy on trail. He carried a creep lifelike doll on trail and was heard yelling “Cock-a-Doodle-Do-Me isn’t the only one carrying a baby”
–Tragic Carper Ride Was violated for confusing TKO for TKO no one was surprised when he confused Fuck a Wish Foundation for a mirror(they look alike that’s the joke)
Then there were a few violations from the crowd. Some of them worthy of note. Hells Anal and Tragic Carpet Ride were violated for sharing the same spacesuit. The hashers standing against a white garage door were violated for looking like a police line up. Little thunder Clap(Me) was violated for not using his words (Sorry I got scared) Going Gay with Person A was violated for joining a fantasy football team and wanted to talk about tampons.
Then it was time for the most solemn occasion of a naming. The lucky hasher to get on their knees just Mike. A little about Just Mike he went to Bowdin College, their mascot was a polar bear, majored in Russian, once cracked his brothers skull, his brother knocked out his teeth, has traveled to and lived in eastern Europe, was caught by his girlfriends parents once in high school, his favorite Disney princess if Jasmine, stumbled upon two guys having sex while on a road rally in Europe, and his shorts are from the Ukraine.
The pack had a few honorable mentions for names, Pinks and the Stain, K.G.B.J, Shitty In Pink, Moscow Mule, Taint Petersburg, and Plowing Miss Daisy. But only one name was worthy of this hasher. Forever more and throughout the world of hashing except (you know who you are) Just Mike will be known as U. Ass. Ass. Ow!
And then the pack was Happy, Macho mugs were had and the pack made their way to Gordon Biersch.
On –Shut down party Any one??-On
Little Thunder Clap