Tag Archive for: the bitch

EWH3# 838: WH4 Annual Invasion Trail!: 6:45 PM Thursday, July 10, 2014 – Columbia Heights (Green/Yellow)

WhenThursday July 10, 2014
Where: Columbia Heights Metro (Yellow/Green Line)
Hares: Pulp Friction, Tomb Raper, Wreath Around, Read Between the Slime, Poop Dick.
Miscellaneous Crap: Pulp Friction is moving away to go be productive with his life 🙁
I’m really gonna miss this face.
And Palookaville will never be the same.
(An average night at Palookaville)
WeatherBiblical, end times, “everyone get in the giant boat that the dirty hippie told us about!” rain.
Ononon: Wonderland!
VirginsJust Jessica, Just Matt, Just Amanda, Just Steve, Just Lisha, Just Rebecca, Just Lauren, Just Jennifer, Just Natalie, Just Rob, Just Layla, and Just Tommy.
VisitorsSpelunk My Junk from Oregon and Body Language from Geneva.
And… Violations! Er, hold on, WH4 Scribe, Chippenfailz, has something to say… I’m just gonna…

Ahem. Like Adam begot the all star cast of the bible, so did Gispert begot
the thing you know as hashing. And thus through the lines, the key
players went out through the world to leave their mark on the world,
so it was with hashing.
White House begot EWH3, and the world was never the same. We’re still
kind of being blamed for that. But every one in a while we come to our
ill begotten children, and remind them how hashing is done. We’re
still hopeful our mother hash will come and show us the same. We’re
pretty much making it up as we go along.
So we found ourselves, on a bright and beautiful Thursday, making our
way to start location, ready for a wonderful trail only to learn that
the EWH3 RA’s let us down in the weather department, ensuring fairly
constant rain until the WH4 esteemed and funny talking RA took things
over, clearing the skies.
True to form, we were joined by more virgins than many kennels see, in
the form of (Just) Jessica, Matt, Amanda, Steve, Lisha, Rebecca,
Lauren, Jennifer, Natalie, Rob, Layla, and Tommy.
We were further blessed to be visited by Spelunk My Junk from Oregon
and Body Language from Geneva.
With a rousing rendition of Father Abraham, which most of the EWH3
pack found entertaining mostly due to the fact that it wasn’t My Name
Is Joe, we headed on out to enjoy(?) a wet and wild COHI trail.
Greeting us at the end of trail and the start of circle, was a pack of
about 15 dogs behind a fence who barked the. entire. time. Also
greeting us there was Red Vag of Courage who made an art out of
shortcutting the. entire. trail.
Hearing that this was an EWH3 trail, and fearing the worst, Please
Step Away From The Whores spent the whole night in a full body condom.
Nothing will stop what these youngsters can possibly give you.
The hares laid trail with red tinted flour, causing Pulp Friction’s
arm to be red up to the elbow, causing You sucked my battledick to
harken back to the last time she saw a mans forearm that red… her
last date.
Tuck Tuck Deuce, clearly needing the instructions of experienced
hashers, was seen to solve one of the tit checks.
Not satisfied to creep everyone out with his own face, Tragic Carpet
Ride was seen drinking out of a vessel bearing another mans “O” face.
Because you never can tell, The Hares marked BN with a questionmark (BN?).
Special Red, betraying his own kind, confused Ginger Snatch for Pinnochi-Ho.
Cum Bru Lay was violated, because he knows why.
Speaking of gingers in action, Pinnochi-Ho found trail treasure…
with a pulse. And lo, we welcomed Just Kimberly!
The Hares were called in to pay for their sin of using tit checks more
frequently than republican talking heads use Nazi references.
Finally, it came time to say a very special goodbye to some hashers:
Pulp Friction lied on his application and managed to get someone to
accept him to law school. This was his last EWH3 trail until he fails
out or he passes and we desperately need his services.
London Bitches Going Down, while having left us for the Marines a
while ago, will be leaving us in a more permanent sense when he
marries 6 Pigs in a Blanket in December. This was last EWH3 trail as a
single man.
Choke And Gag Her, a highly trained and successful Naval Officer
thought that life was too reliable and has quit that job in order to
move to Spain to be a DJ. Smart life choices, kids.

After that, we all drank and got laid and our children learned a
little bit better what it means to be a hasher.

On out,
WH4 Scribe,
Chippen Failz

Back to your regularly scheduled program….

Thank you, WH4 RA, Mono Railed, and WH4 Scribes Chip and Ginger Snatch, for a rousing circle and a rockus good time.
Next up… A NAMING! 
Just Samantha hails from Florida where she attended UF (GO GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and graduated with a Material Science and Engineering degree (GO GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). She currently works for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (GO NUKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), has a thing for goats, sky diving, and DP porn. Once called chicken head (after giving a public blow job outside of a club under a street light), Just Samantha swiped her V Card at sixteen in a waterbed with a 22yo (it’s Florida, so good chance it was actually a goat). While driving in Iceland not too long ago (which she compared to Narnia), Just Samantha took out her sexual frustration via vehicular emu-slaughter (apparently goats > emus). Also, she’s never shit her pants or encountered aliens. Clearly a liar (I love parenthesis).
Some names were thrown out, most of them horrible, but the best of which were Fuck-you-Shima, Björk, Björk Björk Björk (this one didn’t actually make it, but every time I think of it I laugh so hard I cry. Say it to the tune of a chicken “bok”ing), and The Lying, The Bitch, and the Whoredrobe. The hash voted, and henceforth and forevermore, Just Samantha will be known as The Lying, The Bitch, and the Whoredrobe. 


On- big time sensualityyyyyyyy– On,

Mr. hEd