Tag Archive for: Van Ness

When: 6:45 PM Thursday August 21, 2014.

 Where: Van Ness Metro.

Hares: Tuck Tuck Deuce, Red Vag of Courage, Put It Out, Bare Back, Just Liz, and a Mystery Hare.

Weather: Muggy muggy muggy

On On On: Public Bar

VirginsJust Michela, Just Chris, Just Dorothee, Just Matt, Just Teresa, Just Andy, Just Emily, Just Max, Just Aristhide, Just Ryan, Just Drew, Just Jessica, Just Mark

Visitors Bucky Bear – Nittany Valley H3

And, as always, your VIOLATIONS!!!

Upon hearing that her birthday present was a nine inch dildo, You Sucked My Battledick politely requested something smaller, more average. Which is really good news for the bulk of you and your bulk.

Carmen San Dieg-ho
 was overheard saying on trail “im not really wet as much as I am sticky.” Married people problems?

Just Dorothy
has hashed in Senegal and the Congo, and still said that ewh3 is the hardest, most shiggiest trail she’s ever run. Yeah…

Dr. Bare Back recently moved back to the US after getting her PhD in epidemiology. And after all the recent outbreaks of Ebola, polio, malaria and chikungunya, our very own doctor who specializes in contagious disease ran us through mosquito infested swamp land. I know you’re currently fun employed but that’s just a low blow.

(^ me when someone tells me there’s a mosquito biting me ^)

Hells Anal was overheard talking about how her ideal night contains “college frat boys and fireball.” Emphasis on the plural here.

PIO sent out an email asking the hash to bring him “the lame and injured.” In other words, there’s an opening for cabana boy at Chez Peow and he’s looking for a new gimp.

(Special consideration if you resemble Agador)

Schrodinger’s Cock was overheard exclaiming, “I’ve never been so wet in my life!” I don’t think you’re doing it right.


And the event we’ve all been waiting for… A NAMING!

Just Liz attended the University of Mary Washington as a Colonial, works for the Department of Agriculture, and gives amazing blow jobs. The meanest thing she’s ever done was to deprive a 36-year old, micropenised virgin the loss of his V Card. While in undergrad, she got sexually intimate with her female roommate of two years, culminating in every hasher’s dream: a lesbian undergraduate pillow fight. While “pillow fighting,” however, Just Liz managed to break her wrist. Some names were thrown out, the best of which were A Prairie Home Companion, WhOrange is the New Black, and Gapes of Wrath. It was a close call, but our RA broke the tie, proclaiming that, henceforth and forevermore, Just Liz will be known as Gapes of Wrath.
On- jello wrestling over pillow fights any day- on,
Mr. hEd

EWH3 #830: The Beware the Ides of May- Hashzilla Returns Trail!

When: Thursday May 15, 2014

Where: Van Ness-UDC Metro (Red Line).

Hares: MissMeGagMe, PutItOut, VirginQueen, JustCarl, and some mystery walker hare!

Miscellaneous Crap: Shiggy and stairs about sums it up.

Weather: hot and then wet (whattttt)

On on on: Guapos!


Virgins: Just Imani, Just Travis, Just Stephanie, Just Lauren F, Just Paul, Just Britt, Just Alex, Just Melissa, Just Tamara, and Just Lauren H.

VisitorsChief Ramalamadingdong, Stuttgart  and….



-Uno, Dos, Tres, LIFTOFF!, our esteemed jubilee, was complaining that she can’t seem to give away her goods. It’s like high school all over again.


-Little Thunder Clap bought a motorcycle. We didn’t think it was possible, but apparently he can be EVEN douchier. LTC… tumblr_mr6rj8rVbu1ranhnao1_500


-Just Alex said that he didn’t need to learn the markings because “he’s moving out of DC and therefore won’t be hashing.” Because hashing only exists in DC. They’re so cute when they’re young and dumb.



-Dr. Toolittle claims that the air conditioner in her house is broken. Really it’s just early onset menopause. At least she puts the hot in hot flash!


-Put it Out is taking applications for his next cabana boy. Interested parties should don a banana hammock and show up at his house between 6-9pm Saturday evening.

-Just Daniel was violated from having new shoes. He must have stolen them.

(get it? it’s because he’s black)

-Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock defied the Law of Triathletes by going a full 24 hours without updating us all about his Tri training. There is hope!

-Glitty Clitty Gang Bang was overheard saying, “once I swallowed a whole ball.” I don’t think you’re doing it right.


-Carmen San DiegHo was overheard saying on trail “you just go down and a little to the left.” You tell ’em, girl.


-Whiskey Business was overheard saying that he was resisting the urge to “defoul himself with hot dogs.” In my mind, when WB got home from trail, his evening looked something like this:

-A Salt My Ass gave me a massive wedgie. Honey, there are way more fun ways to play with my ass, I’m just sayin.

-Twinkle was also violated for running up to the the people grilling in the forest, who were specifically offering their meat to the harriettes. Apparently, ou can take the man out of the gay bar, but you can’t take the gay bar out of the man.

-The hares were violated for misspelling déjà vue. If you’re gonna try and be smart, just don’t.

-In-Your-End-O got so drunk last week, she walked up to someone at the bar and started getting friendly. Turns out, she was groping a muggle. Whoops…. In you go, In-Your-End-O!


-Last but not least, Twinkle was overheard complaining that “no one gets [his] Mariah Carey references.” Did I mention that he used to work at a gay bar? In you go, Twinkle.


A naming did not occur, because trail was long, justs had vacated the circle, and it started pouring. On to Guapo’s we went, for massive margaritas and Messican food. Until next time, wankers.

-Mr. hEd