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When: January 29, 2015 (otherwise known as Oprah’s birthday)

Where: Braddock Road (Blue / Yellow lines)

Weather: a late-January evening in D.C. (exactly what you expect it to be)

Hares: In-Your-End-Ohhh, Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack, Return to Sender’s Wife, Infidelatio, Baylor the dog and Just Elissa

Virgins: Just Megs (and sweatered puppy)

Visitors: no one likes us

On On: TJ Stones

It was a dark and cold and icy night, but we successfully wandered through the streets and alleys and pathways of Old Town Alexandria. We met near a van down by the river, sang some songs and violated one another:

Bumspringa for rocking with his crocheted cock out in a school parking lot; apparently this is what kids are making in home ec class these days.

Return to Sender’s Wife for hosting a walkers’ shot check also in a school parking lot.

The Hares for, while recognizing the collective hash love for sparkly dresses and tight pants, the ice on trail was better meant for last week’s U.S. Figure Skating championships.

Saved by Molson for his eagerness on trail by solving both the just and tit checks. We are all awesome but no need to show off.

RPI, Whoregon Trail and Just Megs for shop talk on trail.

General Farm’s Animal for not realizing his old bones could serve as chalk on trail.

Jew-Cock-A for his confusion over angina and vagina, unless he was actually referring to Russian pop star, Angina.

We all said we were happy and our cold selves went off to find a warmer location to fill our bellies with beer.

Scribally yours,

Mambo # Hives

EWH3# 788: The Paula Deen (Everybody Has Diabeetus) Trail Trash  Thursday, September 12, 2013 – Eisenhower Avenue Metro

When: Thursday September 12th, 2013.

Where: Eisenhower Metro

HaresMr. hEd, Hell’s Anal, Just Kristen, St. Pauli’s Girl, and Just Molly (walker’s)

Miscellaneous Crap: Live A to A trail.

On On On:San Antonio Bar & Grill

The pack gathered outside the Eisenhower metro just inside the parking lot, a large crowd for a Virginia Hash. The rain that threatened our event earlier had subsided. Our brew crewers for the night Tumble Cry and Shamrock Your Cock managed to find a spot for Plan-B  spitting distance from sign in. The GM for the evening Dont ask don’t smell started off by introducing the virgins to the pack, just Carrie, Michelle, and Jessica. With no visitors we moved on to the hare representative Blows a Tranny who told the crowd how soggy everyone would get on trial. We sang a quick tune about a man who worked in a button factory and the pack was off and running.

The hares ran the pack through various parts of Alexandria Virginia, through a few water crossings almost loosing the lighter hashers to water currents. We had a few shot checks of delicious diabetus inducing beverages.

The RA for the night Daisy Chain circled up the pack and began by violating the hares, and reintroducing the virgins. Then it was time for violations!!

Rape and Spillage was violated for his statement on trail “ Don’t turn into me Im a bad person” Regardless of what your mom says to you we love you how you are.

-Brew crew Tumble Cry and Shamrock Your Cock were violated for improper advertising of the hash, the left the first beer check with a trash bag hanging of f of the Plan-B antenna.

Hells Anal was violated basically her having her own private adventure, she got lost on trail, was picked up by cops twice then used a computer at a dog kennel to find her way, we appreciate your tenacity.

Just Drew was violated for playing frogger. He couldn’t resist the chance to dodge cars on a six lane highway.

Fire Drill was violated for being the Mary Poppins look alike of Uzbekistan.

Red Vadge of Courage was violated for endangering others at a water crossing. With a name like hers you are putting others in danger of a shark attack.

Infidelatio was violated for spitting on trail after srinking a bacon vodka shot she said it was the first time in 15 years she has put meat in her mouth. I just feel sorry for your boyfriend.

The sexorcist was violated for celebration a birthday on the week of a hash, shame shame woman.

Tits for tots was violated for being deported to Nigeria.

Glitty Clitty Gang Band and S&MOM were violated for being racist cooks.

Tosh.homo was violated for having two girls in his bed over the weekend, Red Vadge had her way with one of them before he got there but hey that counts right?

Then it was time for the most solemn occasion of a naming. ON this evening we so lucky to have not a single but a double naming. The two lucky hashers to get on their knees for us were Just Kristen and Just Molly. Each had lots to say, Just Kristen went to the university of Oregon, works at the Bureaucratic agency of “NO”, almost got lucky for the first time at age 19 on Valentine’s Day but had too much Mexican Food, one night hooked up on the kitchen counter and found her room mates eating breakfast on it the next day. Just Molly went to Georgetown University, has a three year old twins, her first boyfriend played  the “just the tip” game with her, woke up t what she thought was her boyfriend going down on her ut turned out to be her dog.

A few names were thrown out but we were quickly thwarted by the discount strippers from the nearby hotel. The pack quickly disbanded and made their way to Ruby Tuesdays

On –Booo Strippers!! -On

EWH3 Scribe

Little Thunder Clap