Prelube: Joe Theismann’s Restaurant

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Your MisManagement team is sometimes great at numbers and sometimes very much not so. Each of our two brain cells are doing their best, but at the end of the day, numbers are hard. Hopefully you haven’t been looking at the trail numbers very closely, because we haven’t either. We’re all caught up now though!

It’s not just the trail numbers we may struggle with, your alpha hare may not always be great at counting her back checks. Why is that? Well, because numbers are hard. Are you starting to get the theme yet? It’s gonna be great.

But it’s possible we should all brush up on our numbers just in case, starting here isn’t a bad idea.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD 

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, September 10, 2026. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: King Street Gardens Park (no marks from start, use your phones)

Nearest Capital Bike Share: King St Metro North / Cameron St

Hares: Ha-Cum-On My Tatas & mystery hares

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 1.8 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.0 mi first half / 0.7 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (0.3 mi to Braddock Rd Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. 

We also have a bag van for your personal items!

End Metro: Braddock Rd (Blue/Yellow)

Last Trains Out:

Blue to Franconia-Springfield – 12:36 AM

Blue to Largo – 11:38 PM

Yellow to Greenbelt – 11:40 PM

Yellow to Huntington – 12:38 AM

On After*:  T.J. Stone’s (608 Montgomery St)

Specials: Numbers are special.

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!

Prelube: Snappy’s Small Bar

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Last week, the world lost a true hero. No, not Pennywise, the other celebrity death. No, not Optimus Prime, c’mon, you know we lost Dolly Fucking Parton!

Ahh, the tits I can literally ride a rollercoaster through and a face that makes me wonder how the FUCK someone like Jolene could be even hotter…

As summer comes to a close, let’s all celebrate the incredible life of a truly wonderful American icon whose legacy transcends so many parts of society by wearing our sexiest lingerie to trail. Camisoles, push-up bras, garter belts, nylons, over-the-shoulder boulder holders, well-placed athletic tape, ANYTHING that makes you feel “oh yeah, I could quit this 9 to 5 and start an OnlyFans” is welcome at this trail*. 

Don’t have gazongas? You do this week! Think your chesticles are lacking? The only thing bigger that Dolly’s sweater puppies was her heart, and she says you’ve got what it takes! Every check is a tit check when every hasher is wearing a bra!

*Please be wary of the legality of what you wear to trail, we aren’t bailing you out for a nip slip or a ball fall, and On-Afters have their own things going on.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD 

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, September 3, 2026. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: George Avenue/Petwork

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Georgia Avenue and New Hampshire Ave S

Hares: Close Encounters of the Turd Kind, Tramp-Sub-Stantiation, and Just Alex

Trail Details: Subject to change as Turd gets his shit together
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.1 mi. second half

– Walkers: 0.9 mi first half / 1.0 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (0.3ish mi to George Ave Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. 

We also have a bag van for your personal items!

End Metro: Georgia Ave/Petworth

Last Trains Out:

Green – Branch Ave: 11:47pm

Green – Greenbelt: 12:31am 

Yellow – Huntington: 11:49pm

Yellow – Greenbelt: 12:09am

On After*: Midlands

Specials: Turd will lick your tits if you ask him to, that’s pretty special

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!