If there’s anything people know about Deathly Swallows, it’s that she’s kind of obsessed with polka dots (and red lipstick). What better way to celebrate the analversary of her birth than by wearing polka dots to her birthday trail? Get in your Betty Boop best, slap on some red lipstick, and enjoy a familiar (but not too familiar) trek around Foggy Bottom!

Hares: Deathly Swallows (Walker hare), Fist Pump, Colliteral Damage, Cum Locker, Head Injury (Sweeper), Cheech & Dong, General Tso’s Dicken, and You Sucked My Battledick

When: Thursday, April 18th, 6:45 PM. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Foggy Bottom – follow marks to start!

Theme: POLKA DOTS! ALLLLLLL POLKA DOTS! Red lipstick also highly encouraged.

Trail Length:  Runners trail is roughly 4.75 miles, walkers trail is roughly 2 miles(ish)

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun!

Last trains out of Foggy Bottom Station:

  • Franconia-Springfield: 11:34 PM
  • Largo Town Center: 11:21 PM
  • New Carrollton: 11:14 PM
  • Vienna/Fairfax-GMU: 11:42 PM
  • Wiehle-Reston East: 11:27 PM

On After: Recessions

Specials: this is one of the gifs you can find if you look for “specials”

This Sunday is Palm Sunday and you know what that means, it’s time to slap some palms! Join us in Eastern Market as we high five our way through the streets of SE.

When: 6:45PM, April 11th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Eastern Market Metro – follow marks to start!

Hares: Mr. Holland’s Anus, Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me, Rail Mary, Maybe It’s Gaybelline, and a Mystery Hare.

Trail Length: About 4 miles for runners, roughly 2 for walkers.

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. We will never be off pavement. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Eastern Market:

Blue Line Franconia-Springfield 11:17 PM 12:47 AM 10:47 PM

Silver Line Blue Line  Largo Town Center 11:38 PM 1:08 AM 11:08 PM

Orange Line New Carrollton 11:48 PM 1:18 AM 11:18 PM

Orange Line Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 11:23 PM 12:53 AM 10:53 PM

Silver Line Wiehle-Reston East 11:10 PM 12:40 AM 10:40 PM M

On After: The Brig

Specials: $25 Beer Buckets, you get 5 Coors Lights, or blue moons, mix and match.